May 2013
Anonymous asked: So people just ask you random stuff on here?
May 25th
May 25th
16,271 notes
Anonymous asked: tell me a secret. i promise i won't tell anyone.
May 25th
May 25th
1,439 notes
May 25th
12,539 notes
May 25th
2,515 notes
Parents: Don't talk to people on the internet.
Me: Trust me, I try to get them to talk to me all the time and they don't want to.
May 25th
131,389 notes
Anonymous asked: Fuck well damnit anyway I'll still just be annoying on Saturday anyway. ~Arthur I
May 24th
Anonymous asked: I now have the power I reveal your date's name do not test my power. -Arthur I, King of Britain, Her Isles, and the Commonwealth Realms
May 24th
May 24th
6,742 notes
1 tag
kenway: ur sherlock/hannibal aus are invalidated by the fact that sherlock is so incredibly rude hannibal would eat him
May 24th
6,222 notes
May 24th
205,873 notes
2 tags
privatecobro: You know what I wanna do?  For drawing practice (because I’m useless doing fanart so lets not do fanart for a bit).  I wanna draw people’s characters (because I know I can do that nicely).  So like if you want, maybe shoot me a pic of like an OC or something because I like to draw people’s characters for them. It’s fun (and is good practice).  And maybe give me like a sentence...
May 24th
5 notes
3 tags
me: *long flowery essay about the virtues of literature and it's value"
me: "but William Faulkner can suck my dick."
May 24th
3 notes
May 24th
56,145 notes
May 24th
12,575 notes
May 24th
16,692 notes
4 tags
May 23rd
16,157 notes
2 tags
i love all of your stories like wow i want to be friends with you. please come off anon and shoot me a message so we can chat and be bffs 5ever because y’all are actually really coooool. //UwU//
May 23rd
1 note
Anonymous asked: I suppose this isn't too embarrassing, but it was for me. The first time I ever made out with anyone I was curious about what it looked like, (I also wasn't too clear on kissing rules) and I just kept my eyes open the whole time and stared at them. Eventually they squinted and noticed what I was doing and I'm sure it looked very strange. They immediately stopped and asked me what I...
May 23rd
thedoctorloves replied to your post: And so the cock, ashamed of what his life had degraded to, decided to cross the road, into on-coming traffic. He didn’t stand a chance. But still, no one knows what pushed him over the edge, leaving the inevitable question, why did the chicken cross the road? I’m gonna use this one day and it will be beautiful i don’t even know what you would use this...
May 23rd
1 note
thedoctorloves asked: And so the cock, ashamed of what his life had degraded to, decided to cross the road, into on-coming traffic. He didn't stand a chance. But still, no one knows what pushed him over the edge, leaving the inevitable question, why did the chicken cross the road?
May 23rd
2 notes
thedoctorloves asked: So what'd you think of the brotp???????????
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: So male swim suits have a nasty habit of clinging to you once you get out of the water. One time I was at a pool, and having seen an attractive girl swim by I became a little aroused as people do. I forgot about that nasty habit that swim suits have and pulled myself out of the pool. As soon as I stood up I realized my mistake. Clearly visible to God and every offended parent at the pool was my...
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: Also, By the Power of Greyskull! Prince Adam no! And he becomes a sloth. Hahahahahaha! You can never defeat me He-Man, as a deadly sin! He-Man-Sloth wastes no time as he crawls up Skeletor's leg and slowly rips into his femur, destroying everything on the way in. Well shit. Skeletor dies and He-Sloth becomes the hero of Eternia. The End
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: I know but it's late I felt like writing about my canon brotp
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: "Alright. So this'll help you then?" "Of course, now just move to the side a bit and turn on a light for God's sake." "What a stupid project," he thought, "having to study the anatomy of the other sex. Must make her right uncomfortable." "Can you hurry up? I'm starting to get cold," Ptero whispered to the computer. "Yeah,...
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: If you want crack here's your fucking crack ""Are you sure it's alright?" She was whispering because she knew it was too late at night to be trying something like this. "Yeah, all I need is a clear look at you." He needed it. He needed her. He just couldn't help it anymore. "Alright... Here goes." And it was off, lying on the floor, next to an old...
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: I just can't believe you didn't figure it out I mean holy shit Ptero it's all in like the first two sentences *laughing uncomfortably loud*
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: Well I'll finish it since I'm the one who anoned it and my anon doesn't seem to go through. "and elegance. She came up to me, and I was to enamored to know what I had said as I watched her walk off. "She has it in for you!" I heard, "She likes ya, boy!" Little did they know that I loved her. And little did I know that in only a few weeks time, I would be...
May 23rd
1 note
shocktastic asked: Did you do the windy thing? 'Cause you just blew me away!
May 23rd
1 note
thedoctorloves asked: Hey where's the rest of that story anon was telling?
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: In great irony . . . (is it irony? . . . whatever) in great irony, the same suitmate walked in my me about to masturbate only about a week after I walked in on him. I though our joining door was locked but it clearly wasn't. I had my hand way too deep in my pants to be any other activity when they came in. I quickly shut my laptop but he knew, we both knew what had just happened. He left,...
May 23rd
1 note
youaresomad asked: Taking a piss in my batman onesie pajamas as a kid and these were the ones with the zipper down the middle. Finish up and zip up only to get my penis trapped within the menacing clutches of my zipper. I the. Go running out of the bathroom crying and screaming in pain straight to the living room. Mother was hosting her bible study that morning. All I saw were a sea of confused and disgusted middle...
May 23rd
2 tags
you all should thank shocktastic because they are racking up the hints. the rest of you are falling behind. in fact, i’m limiting shocktastic’s hints. they can still give me pick-up lines but instead they just get stories about when i was a runt.
May 23rd
1 note
In the moments before she dies, a woman whose hair...
untilyoubeggedformercytwice: donnanoble-the-sasstronaut: mrloopysquirrel: wHy hello yes, 911 send me an aMBULANCE
May 23rd
27,920 notes
shocktastic asked: Have you captchalogued my heart? Because it's yours now~
May 23rd
1 tag
shocktastic replied to your post: i changed my mind  shocktastic has swayed me with… YAY I WON I AM THE BEST THIS HUMAN EMOTION CALLED FRIENDSHIP IS BEAUTIFUL HOORAY YOU DID THE THING NOW WE ARE FRIENDSHIP LET’S GO GET DONUTS <3
May 23rd
1 note
1 tag
i changed my mind  shocktastic has swayed me with their homestuck pick-up lines they are my new blog crush (i’m just kidding but i wanted to let you all know that they are hilarious and now we’re friends 5ever and they have no choice in the matter <3)
May 23rd
3 notes
thedoctorloves asked: Well shit come on
May 23rd
shocktastic asked: My half bladekind is looking more like full bladekind, if you catch my drift. ;]
May 23rd
2 notes
thedoctorloves asked: Please? Look at her, she's so cute!~ *has her and she uses her hidden ability, puppy-dog eyes*
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: I still want that free pass.
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: There I was, 1899 Paris, among the red-light district and enjoying life, company, and the green fairy. Everything was going swimmingly and, before I knew it, my new friends had taken me to, "See a show," they said. When I came to I was surround by red and crimson and burgundy and lights, girls, and action all around. "Another drink for the poor lad!" I heard, and...
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: I walked in on my suitmate jerking it once. I came in to ask him a question and he was on his futon with his dick in his hand about to go. To be honest I did a mini double take because it was surprisingly big.
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: they warned me about stares. but i look at you and get this feeling. it keeps happening.
May 23rd
thedoctorloves asked: If it's not that guy, and it's obviously not 85, who could it be? Hint please?~
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: Does the fanfiction have to be Homestuck or can it be other because let me tell you I fucking such at typing quirks
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, so here's my pesterchum, so troll me maybe
May 23rd
Anonymous asked: That is the most intense shit all I have are horribly sad and strangely funny stories this isn't getting me anywhere Tab
May 23rd