I suppose this isn't too embarrassing, but it was for me. The first time I ever made out with anyone I was curious about what it looked like, (I also wasn't too clear on kissing rules) and I just kept my eyes open the whole time and stared at them. Eventually they squinted and noticed what I was doing and I'm sure it looked very strange. They immediately stopped and asked me what I was doing. Awkward silence followed.

ahaaaa i once dated someone who always kept their eyes open when they kissed. it was a bit off-putting. but hey, kissing is weird and weird stuff happens and it’s a part of the whole experience. 

(hint: they are a fan of the so far two released films and excited for the third film in the Cornetto Trilogy, as am I)

And so the cock, ashamed of what his life had degraded to, decided to cross the road, into on-coming traffic. He didn't stand a chance. But still, no one knows what pushed him over the edge, leaving the inevitable question, why did the chicken cross the road?

arthur i really think you need to go to bed

So what'd you think of the brotp???????????

So male swim suits have a nasty habit of clinging to you once you get out of the water. One time I was at a pool, and having seen an attractive girl swim by I became a little aroused as people do. I forgot about that nasty habit that swim suits have and pulled myself out of the pool. As soon as I stood up I realized my mistake. Clearly visible to God and every offended parent at the pool was my erection as the suit clung skin tight to me.

i love all these penis problems y’all are having

like just freakin’ hilarious. external genitalia is legit problematic and it’s great.

(hint: gamer guy)

Also, By the Power of Greyskull! Prince Adam no! And he becomes a sloth. Hahahahahaha! You can never defeat me He-Man, as a deadly sin! He-Man-Sloth wastes no time as he crawls up Skeletor's leg and slowly rips into his femur, destroying everything on the way in. Well shit. Skeletor dies and He-Sloth becomes the hero of Eternia. The End

yeah okay i guess that counts

(hint: they followed me first)

I know but it's late I felt like writing about my canon brotp

"Alright. So this'll help you then?" "Of course, now just move to the side a bit and turn on a light for God's sake." "What a stupid project," he thought, "having to study the anatomy of the other sex. Must make her right uncomfortable." "Can you hurry up? I'm starting to get cold," Ptero whispered to the computer. "Yeah, sorry," 85-percent said, distracted while writing down his notes, "well let's hope teach doesn't have a fit." "Well that's all you need for studying?" "Yeah." "Night." "Night."

OH MY FUCKING 

If you want crack here's your fucking crack ""Are you sure it's alright?" She was whispering because she knew it was too late at night to be trying something like this. "Yeah, all I need is a clear look at you." He needed it. He needed her. He just couldn't help it anymore. "Alright... Here goes." And it was off, lying on the floor, next to an old pile of clothes that she had taken off just this afternoon. "Are they? Well, can you see them alright?" "Yes. Your breasts look just fine."" (Oooooh!)

that’s not crack… that’s smut?

arthur. do you even know what crack is?

I just can't believe you didn't figure it out I mean holy shit Ptero it's all in like the first two sentences *laughing uncomfortably loud*

i wAS HOPING FOR A CROSSOVER WITH DRAG QUEEN SAILOR MOON

it can be both you know, crack and moulin rouge

but YOU JUST GAVE ME ONE

THE ONE I DIDN’T ASK FOR

Well I'll finish it since I'm the one who anoned it and my anon doesn't seem to go through. "and elegance. She came up to me, and I was to enamored to know what I had said as I watched her walk off. "She has it in for you!" I heard, "She likes ya, boy!" Little did they know that I loved her. And little did I know that in only a few weeks time, I would be calling this stage my home and that that was only the first of many nights I would be spending at the Moulin Rouge."

fucking aJSNCISAD

I ASKED FOR CRACK NOT MOULIN ROUGE 

Did you do the windy thing? 'Cause you just blew me away!

//UwU// haha that was a good one.

so when i was a young girl my (father, took me into the city, to see a marching band) grandmother had a pretty expansive garden in which she grew a bunch of dill. dill is a favorite food of the caterpillars that turn into black swallowtail butterflies. so my grandma used to let me take home all the caterpillars i found. which was a lot. so i would visit her three or four days out of the week and each day take home about 10-15 caterpillars. and i would keep them and feed them dill and give them water. i put about two or three in each extra large jar and then in groups they would turn into butterflies, about 40 or so at a time. my mom put nets in front of the kitchen and bathroom as well as over our beds but we would keep each group for a day or two and then let them out of our 2 bedroom apartment. it was the most magical part of my childhood.

Hey where's the rest of that story anon was telling?

i don’t know but i want the rest of my magical late 1800’s drag queen crack fic :(