youbestnotmiss:

katthekonqueror:

etherealzephyr:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.

"I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me "

“’You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?’”

I found these quotes particularly interesting. OP’s mother refused to listen when she tried to talk about her depression, but snooped through her things to see if she was depressed.

It’s amazing to me that parents need to be told something that I GUARANTEE they experienced themselves. This is something that predates text messaging. You search your child’s room for drugs, and they will find a better hiding place for anything they may be worried about you finding - even if it’s as innocuous as candy. You try to snoop on their phone conversations with their boyfriend, and they will 1) Find a different way to communicate with him, and 2) Never communicate with YOU about their boyfriend.

My parents doing this shit to me didn’t make me stop doing it and didn’t make me respect them any more. All it did was make me better at sneaking around.

Seriously. I am 20 years old and still paranoid about leaving my phone out away from my immediate reach, not because I need to check it but because my mom always snooped. And this has had an effect on other relationships. I am paranoid about significant others snooping despite nothing past update texts (“be there in 5” or “the party was changed to 7 instead of 6” and work emails) being on there. I am defensive and have trouble leaving things any where, I still hide junk food despite living alone out of fear people will berate me for eating it and I password protect EVERYTHING, never write anything down and keep it, and am generally super private about any issues I am having. And it’s because my mom snooped and invalidated my issues without actually talking to me about them. DO NOT SNOOP. JUST LISTEN TO YOUR KID. 

i look tired (they/them pronouns)

i think the movie hitch would be like 50000x better if hitch was a woman… like maybe played by Nia Long or Gabrielle Union

mauthedoog:

baras:

miguel-the-sexy-and-powerful-god:

shibakisses:

jackchasejfc:

every time I use “they” to refer to a single gender-unknown person on Tumblr, another piece of my grammar-filled heart shatters, and the pieces scatter at the bottom of hell

laughingbear:

ALL THE SPOOKEMON

Im actually gonna make this into a painting later when I have more time, but I wanted to post it before Halloween month is over, so here it is I can sleep in peace now

also please look at high res ahhh

tastefullyoffensive:

[slugbooks/sarahcandersen]

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 39,622 notes + Ori. Via

wiltingboy:

the good thing about me is that you can not talk to me for 3 weeks and then talk to me and I’ll be fine and still care about you the same way I did before

the bad thing is that I do that to people and they don’t understand that sometimes I just don’t feel like interacting with people.

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 111,721 notes + Ori. Via

monetizeyourcat:

the best part about the inevitable chaos caused by hussie posting the final homestuck update is going to be people who weren’t visibly homestucks coming out of the woodwork to talk about it. talking and acting as though we were homestucks all along. you wake up one morning and we all have fucking shipping grids. your phone rings and you pick up and your fucking grandma is going to talk to you about rosemary. welcome to hellstuck

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 5,462 notes + Ori. Via

brotoro:

reverseracism:

cyberrghetto:

omg

Dear White People Official Trailer 1 (2014) - Comedy HD

all I see is black people talking about this. white people. go see this movie. you need to see this movie.

aei-sb:

UMM

so I read this fic and… yeah

i’m a ghost type gym leader but i also keep the lights on after watching a scary movie

spicyshimmy:

*me pointing to jim kirk* he’s pansexual

*fandom crying voice* no… that’s impossible… he cannot be pan sexual………. Stop….. theres no proof…… he likes women………. kissed the women at least seven time….. please stop talking about pans…….. you’re wrong…… stop saying this fake thing….

*me pointing to jim kirk* love that pansexual

REBLOG | Posted 2 days ago With 1,195 notes + Ori. Via

kiyotakamine:

The Hoenn region boasts many dramatic environments from rain forests to deserts. However, its most striking feature is its abundance of water, a vast contrast to other core series regions, especially Sinnoh. There are several large islands off the mainland only accessible via water routes, many of which are deep enough for diving.

im-not-only-crazy:

cmon everyone needs a happy jane

REBLOG | Posted 2 days ago With 26 notes + Ori. Via

radioactivemongoose:

mulder: scully a werewolf just sexted me

scully: i don’t have time for this

mulder: he’s sending me emojis

REBLOG | Posted 2 days ago With 242 notes + Ori. Via